


The Key

by Amedia



Category: Return to Oz (1985), The Wizard of Oz & Related Fandoms, Tin Man (2007)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crossover, DG in all her unimpressed snarky glory, First Kiss, Gift Fic, Ladyhawke Concept Crossover, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amedia/pseuds/Amedia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DG finds a key to a secret room in the Sorceress's Tower. Crossover with <i>Return to Oz</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the demilos_wagon yuletide exchange as a gift for kseda, in response to the following portions of her request: 
> 
> "Characters/pairings: Glimbrose/Cain […] I also love DG in all her unimpressed, snarky glory.  
> Prompts: Magic Gone Wrong, aka 'DG goofs a spell with hilarious/terrifying consequences.' ...I'd actually love something with a Return to Oz infusion, because Princess Mombi freaks me out and I love her."
> 
> This was the story I was originally assigned to write for the DeMilo's Wagon exchange. So much fun! The other two ([Behind a Smiling Face](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1010776) and [Shivering](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1019501)) were pinch-hit assignments, and I thoroughly enjoyed writing them as well.
> 
> Tutor doesn't really have a name in the original miniseries: "Tutor" is a title and "Toto" a corruption thereof. I borrowed the name "Patmol" for him, which is how "Padfoot" is translated in the French version of the _Harry Potter_ books.
> 
> Beta'd by TODS.
> 
> Originally posted on LiveJournal on January 7, 2009.

When DG first learned that she was a princess, she was horrified by the prospect. She had a vague notion from storybooks that princesses spent their time sitting around castles in beautiful gowns. She wasn't sure what else they did--embroidery, possibly, or making lace--but she was reasonably certain that it would be boring and girly-girly and she wouldn't enjoy it. 

A few weeks after the eclipse, however, she found herself standing in a corridor holding a clipboard, with her hair in a ponytail and a pencil behind one ear, supervising an inventory of the Sorceress's Tower. Barking orders to a burly team of former Longcoats who meekly obeyed her every word was not the most exciting thing in the world, but it was a lot better than her expectation of sitting around in a pink dress making doilies. "Seven-A-West team, let's get a move on!" she shouted.

A tall bald man emerged from a nearby room. "We found an item of interest, Princess," he said. "We thought we should turn it over to you."

 _Damn right_ , thought DG, but instead she said, "Very good, Dell," and held out her hand. He dropped a small object into it. It was a small ruby key that shimmered with a distinct air of magic. 

DG looked up at him. "Where did you find this?"

"On the top of a tall cabinet, Princess," he said. "Not on the top shelf, you understand, but atop the cabinet itself. There was nothing else up there. I can show you if you'd like."

"No, that's all right," she said, making a note on her clipboard. "Tell your men that I appreciate their thoroughness. It won't go unrewarded."

"Thank you, Princess," he murmured, and went back to his team. DG stared some more at the key. What did it open, she wondered, and why would a key need to be magical? Non-magic keys worked just fine. She was supposed to turn the most important finds over to a central office, but she didn't want to just hand the key over; it was the most interesting thing she had seen all day. She slipped it into her pocket.

******

DG kept her teams working late; they were nearly done with their section and she wanted to finish that day. She missed dinner with the family and got herself a sandwich from the kitchen despite the protestations of the staff, who wanted to fix her a hot meal. While she was munching her dinner, she wondered whether she should go find her mother and show her the key, or perhaps show it to Toto. She generally remembered to call him Professor Patmol during lessons, but she still thought of him by the nickname she had bestowed in childhood. She yawned. Plenty of time for that tomorrow.

Before she went to bed she took the key out and looked at it again. It glimmered in her hand, posing a mystery and promising to unlock it. On an impulse, she put it under her pillow. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes.

A moment after closing her eyes, she opened them to find herself standing in a circular, dimly-lit room. It was lined with white cabinets, the upper halves of which were glass-fronted. The cabinets appeared to contain lifelike sculptures of the heads of beautiful women. Curious, DG approached closer and peered at the nearest head. 

It wasn't a sculpture. It was real. DG gasped and took a step backward. At the sound, the head's eyes snapped open and focused on DG, who stood open-mouthed in horror. The head began to scream, emitting a high-pitched wordless shriek.

All the other heads awoke and began screaming as well. DG tried to back away, but every step away from one shrieking head only took her closer to another. From a nearby curtained alcove there came rustling sounds, like a person getting out of bed. When the curtains parted, a woman emerged, tall and elegant, dressed in a sumptuous satin nightgown. With a sickening shock, DG realized that that the woman was only a body; there was no head atop its shoulders. The body lurched around the room with its hands out, apparently trying to open a cabinet and obtain a head. DG froze, unable to move. She watched in silent horror, stifling the urge to scream; even her own breathing sounded loud in her ears. Suddenly the body stopped its quest for a cabinet and turned toward DG instead. 

DG tried to turn, to run, even to scream, but she could do none of these things. "Don't want this," she whispered, and found that she _could_ whisper. "I don't want to be here," she whispered fiercely, and closed her eyes.

She opened her eyes again and found herself in bed. She looked around at her familiar surroundings and sighed with relief. Pulling the key out from under the pillow, she put it in a drawer of the nightstand and went back to sleep. In the morning, she hardly even remembered that she had had a nightmare.

******

The Queen and the Professor were in an extended meeting and were not to be disturbed. Ahamo had taken Azkadellia away on a holiday, hoping to improve her recovery; Raw had gone with them. DG wandered around the palace with the key in her pocket, looking for _someone_ to consult and finally ran into Glitch, who was on his way to Cain's office to deliver a report on security. "Hey, Glitch," said DG, falling in with him. "What do you know about magic keys?"

Glitch held out his free hand and DG dropped the key into it. He examined it closely as they walked along. "Where did you find this?"

"One of the teams sweeping Az's Tower found it on top of a cabinet in the administrative section."

He handed it back to her. "Have you tried it out?"

"Where?" DG asked. "I already have keys to all the rooms there."

Glitch shook his head. "This kind of key would open a different room. I mean, if you used your regular key, you would get one room, and if you used the magical key, well, when you opened that same door you would see something different. It's like a portal into another dimension." He temporarily abandoned his scientific tone to add, "It's really cool!"

"Wow," said DG. She stole a glance sideways as they rounded a corner. "Did you invent it?" she asked with a grin.

"No," he said seriously. "This is very ancient magic." They came to Cain's office and Glitch knocked on the open door to announce their presence. "Ancient and dangerous," he clarified.

Cain looked up from his desk. "What's ancient and dangerous, Glitch? Oh, hi, Princess."

"Hi, Mr. Cain," DG said. "Glitch was giving me some background on a key that was found in the Tower." She held it up for him to see. "He thinks it might open a secret room in the Tower."

Glitch put the security report on Cain's desk. "To be more precise, I suspect it would open up a portal to a room in another dimension," he said. "Which could be pretty nifty, when you think about it."

"Possibly nifty," said Cain. "Definitely dangerous."

"Well, yes, I suppose so," Glitch agreed reluctantly. "DG, you'll let us know when you decide to try it out, right?"

"How about right now?" DG asked, suddenly very curious.

"Have you consulted the Queen about this? Or the Professor?" asked Cain.

DG looked down. "They're not available," she mumbled. "They could be in that meeting all day! And then you _know_ they'll take the key away and send someone else to check it out."

"That's what I would do in their place," said Cain. DG frowned at him, and he smiled suddenly. "But I also know what I would do in _your_ place, and I know there's no stopping you. Come on, Glitch, let's go along and keep her out of trouble. If that's possible."


	2. Chapter 2

They spent the next few hours going systematically through the rooms of the Tower. It was almost noon when they reached the 13th floor. DG stopped in front of the first door and looked at her clipboard. "It's a storage closet," she reported.

"Anything in there?"

"Spare Longcoat gear, it looks like," said DG, running her finger across the page. "Overcoats. Truncheons. Jackboots. That sort of thing."

She took out the ruby key, and tried it in the lock. "Hey!"

Cain and Glitch came closer. "It fits!" said Glitch excitedly.

"Careful," said Cain. She glared at him and turned the key.

Jolts of emerald lightning stabbed outward from the lock in all directions. DG gasped as the starburst of energy went around her, as if she were standing in a protective bubble. 

Cain and Glitch stared at her. "DG?" said Cain, sounding worried.

"What?" she asked, irritated.

"You're in a bubble," said Glitch, pointing. 

"I don't feel any different," said DG, puzzled. "Hey, look at the door."

The door that she had unlocked was slowly swinging open. No dark, dusty storage closet lay within; the door led to a large room, brightly lit and lined in white cabinets with glass fronts. "I've _seen_ that," DG said in astonishment. "I had a dream about it last night."

"You _what_?" said Glitch. 

Almost simultaneously, Cain said, "Why didn't you tell us about it?"

"I had forgotten about it until just now," DG said, staring into the room as if mesmerized.

A cold, echoing voice sounded from within the room, though no speaker was visible. "Only the girl may enter."

"Then no one's coming in, because there's no _girl_ out here," said DG, irritated.

The voice chuckled. "Very well, then. Only the _woman_ may enter."

"That's the spirit, DG!" said Glitch.

DG waved him to silence. "What about my friends?" she asked.

The voice no longer sounded amused. "Try not my patience, Princess. You, or no one."

"Sorry, guys," said DG, and walked straight through the door before they could stop her. The bubble of green light that had formed around her flattened out as she passed through the doorway to form a barrier at the entrance.

Cain and Glitch looked at each other. "The Queen is going to kill us," said Cain, and Glitch nodded. They both tried to go through after DG, but the barrier of light crackled and sparked, throwing them back violently into the wall across the corridor.

Cain got to his feet and stared in frustration at the barrier. "Okay, Glitch, got any bright ideas?" He looked around the corridor. "Glitch?"

He felt something brush his leg and jumped back, startled. Looking down, he felt foolish; it was only a cat. It rubbed against his leg again and he reached down to scratch behind its ears. It was the kind of long-haired cat that usually lounged around wealthy homes as a useless fluffy ornament, except that this one looked scruffy and streetwise. It purred loudly as Cain scratched it. "Nice kitty," he said, then straightened up and looked around. "Don't suppose you've seen Glitch anywhere."

The cat meowed loudly and bonked its head against Cain's shins. "Hey, I petted you enough already," Cain said. It meowed again. Cain sighed and bent down to scratch its head again. It moved under his fingertips as if to guide him, and to his surprise he felt a hint of metal within the fur. He squatted down beside the creature and inspected its head closely, a terrible suspicion arising in his mind.

Sure enough, a tiny zipper ran between the cat's ears and down part of its forehead, ending shortly before its eyes. "Glitch?" Cain asked, feeling impossibly foolish. The cat meowed. "Ozma's pantaloons!" said Cain.

******

As DG entered the room, she noticed that it was not exactly the same as it had appeared in her dream. All the cabinets were empty, while a single head rested on a stand in the center of the room. It was the first head she had seen in her dream, and it was looking at her. "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" the head demanded.

"I'm not a witch at all," said DG, startled.

"Don't be coy, Princess," the head said sharply. "I could feel your power from the corridor."

"Oh," said DG. "Well, I prefer the term "magic user.'"

The head sniffed. "I suppose it isn't your fault you were raised on the Otherside. Oh, wait. It was!" The head laughed in a mean sort of way.

"You seem to know a lot about me," said DG.

"Oh, yes, my dear, I know quite a lot about most things. I am Princess Mombi." 

"I see," said DG. "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

Mombi appeared amused. "Oh, most definitely bad," she said. "You must realize that this dimension, to say nothing of my current state, is an exile for me. But I'm not crazy. If I'd gotten my way, I would certainly have ruled all of Oz--what you call the O.Z.--in accord with my whims, but I would never have tried to plunge it into eternal darkness. What would be the point? There's no fun in being a despotic ruler unless you've got something to rule over!" 

DG smiled weakly in response. Mombi's head eyed her sharply. "I'm going to give you something now, and I'm going to ask for something." She paused. "A prediction. Your sister will recover fully," she said. DG felt, despite the strange circumstances, a certainty that Mombi knew what she was talking about. "Now, the demand. I want to get out of here. I've served far more than my original sentence. I will accept reasonable restrictions, but as I'm sure you can tell, I am going to need certain accommodations."

"You think I'm just going to--" DG started, but Mombi cut her off.

"I don't expect _you_ to set me free, Princess. I want you to speak to the Queen on my behalf. I know you'll want to. Just as I know you will seek my aid, even though you may think you don't need it." DG started to protest, but Mombi said, "This audience is at an end. Farewell, Princess. See you soon."

DG walked out into the corridor. "That was just insane," she said. "Cain, did you overhear any of that? That woman is crazy!"

"DG, we've got a more immediate problem," Cain said. The serious undertone of his voice caught and held her attention.

"What is it?" she asked, more quietly.

Cain pointed to the cat. "Awwww," said DG, kneeling down to pet it. "What a cute kitty. I didn't know you had Himalayans here. Hey, what's this on his head?" She looked up at Cain. "And where's…? Hey!" It didn't take long to put two and two together. "Is that Glitch?"

Cain nodded. "I'm pretty sure," he said. "Personality is remarkably similar." 

"That green lightning stuff," DG mused aloud." Do you think it was a spell?" She smacked herself on the forehead. "Duh! Of course it was. This must be what Mombi meant when she said I'd be seeking her aid. Well, she's underestimating who she's talking to!"

"Did you say Mombi?" Cain asked. Glitch hissed at the name.

"Why, have you heard of her?"

"Anyone who took elementary history here has heard of Mombi," Cain said. "She was exiled centuries ago."

"Well, apparently she was exiled _here_ ," said DG. "And she's put a curse on Glitch. Let me fix it and then we can figure out what to do next." She stepped back and closed her eyes. 

"Uh, DG," said Cain, "do you think that's a good idea? I mean, maybe we should consult your mother, your tutor…"

She opened her eyes, irritated. "I've had _three_ weeks of lessons now. They keep telling me that I'm the most powerful magic-user in the O.Z. I think I can handle a simple transformation reversal, thank you very much." 

"Sorry, Princess," said Cain.

She closed her eyes again and concentrated. A soft light gathered around her, and she put out her hands toward the cat, directing the light of magical energy toward it. She opened her eyes in time to see the light shimmer around the cat's body and then radiate toward Cain. _That's not supposed to happen_ , she thought, puzzled.

A moment later, however, the cat seemed to grow and morph from feline to human, and soon Glitch was standing next to Cain. The two looked at each other, and then at DG. "Whew! Thanks, DG," said Glitch.

She was about to answer when Cain abruptly shrank and morphed, turning almost instantly into a large dog that DG recognized as a German shepherd. "Holy crap," she muttered. "Round one to Mombi."

"Mombi?" Glitch asked. " _Princess Mombi_ did this?"

Mombi's cold, mocking laughter echoed all around them. 

DG sighed. " Sorry, guys. I guess I'll have to do what I should have done in the first place."

"Talk to Princess Mombi?" Glitch asked.

"Worse," DG said. "I'll have to talk to my mother."


	3. Chapter 3

"You have a lot to answer for, young lady," said the Queen.

Patmol nodded agreement.

"You should not have gone prowling around the Tower with a magical key," continued the Queen. "What sort of magic did you _think_ it would unlock? The Sorceress chose to rebuild that tower as her headquarters precisely because of its legacy of evil! You knew that, DG!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you told me," DG said. "Along with about five thousand other pieces of information that you've dumped on me in the last three weeks with no time to assimilate." Her indignation rose as she continued speaking. "You want to know what I know? I know how to tune a motorcycle. I know how to fix a generator. I know how to fill out applications for art school and how to make a nice collage of the rejection letters. I know how to balance five tables with four people each and keep track of who doesn't want mustard and who wants extra syrup and who needs a refill of sweetened iced tea with no ice. That's what I know."

The Queen's expression softened. "I'm sorry, my angel."

Patmol harrumphed. "I suppose there's no point in haranguing you over what's already happened. We need to start with what we've got and move on. Tell me more about the spell. What color was the light? What pattern did it form?"

DG explained as much as she could remember; Cain, now in human form again, corroborated her account and added a few more details. Finally DG told Patmol how she had tried to remove the spell. "Instead of reversing it, I just made it worse! Now they're _both_ affected."

Her tutor shook his head. "No. They were both affected all along. I've read about this kind of spell. They'll probably change back and forth every few hours until the spell is broken. It's actually impressive that you could change them off-schedule." He looked over at Cain, who had Glitch in his lap and was absent-mindedly rubbing his belly, making him purr. "Oh, now that's just not right," he said with a frown. Cain glared at him.

DG hastily changed the subject with the first question she could think of. "Does Glitch understand what we're saying when he's a cat?"

"To a limited extent, I think, with this kind of spell," said Patmol. "He probably recognizes his name and a few other words. He would also recognize familiar people, familiar places."

Cain nodded agreement. "That's what it was like when I was a dog," he said. "Professor, can you remove the spell?"

Patmol shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. This kind of spell normally comes with a condition that has to be fulfilled in order for the spell to be broken. You'll have to find out what it is."

"Princess Mombi is the one who would know, of course," mused the Queen. "DG, darling, did she give you any indication of what she might want in exchange?"

"She wants to come back into our dimension," said DG. "She said that she really isn't particular otherwise, and would--let me get this right--'consider accepting any reasonable restrictions.'" She delivered the last five words in a fair approximation of Mombi's speech patterns. "You also have to keep in mind that she's only a head now, so there would have to be some sort of accommodations. Like, you know, a life-support system."

"I have an idea," said Patmol unexpectedly. "Tell Princess Mombi we'll grant her request if she reverses the spell, assuming that she accepts the following conditions." He turned to the Queen and added, "Subject to your approval, of course, Your Majesty." He brought out pen and paper and began to write, reading aloud to DG and the Queen as he went along. 

******

DG returned to the tower the next morning with Glitch and a German shepherd. Trying to conceal her trepidation, she marched briskly to the door of Mombi's room and opened it with the special key. "You guys wait out here, okay?" Glitch nodded. Cain barked. Glitch patted Cain's head.

"Welcome back, my dear," said Mombi's voice, silky with confidence. "I knew you just couldn't stay away."

"I need your help," said DG without preamble. "I need you to reverse the spell on Cain and Glitch."

"Seems to me you managed to _reverse_ it all by yourself." Mombi sounded amused.

"You know what I mean," DG fumed. "Break it. Remove it. Make it go away so they can both be human at the same time and not turn into dogs or cats or anything."

"That's a lot to ask for, young lady," said Mombi.

"Don't. Call. Me. That. Ever. Again." DG was furious. "I get enough of that from my mother."

"Cool off, firebrand," said Mombi. "Show me what kind of offer you've brought for me."

DG brought over the plans that Patmol had drawn up and held them up in front of Mombi's eyes for her to read. "Hm," she said as she read along. "Hm. Mm-hm. Well. I hadn't thought of that before. Hm." DG waited impatiently as Mombi closed her eyes and thought. 

Finally Mombi opened her eyes with startling abruptness and spoke. "Very well. We have a deal. Bring your friends in here."

DG went to the door. "You can come in now," she told Glitch and the dog. 

Glitch's eyes widened as he saw Mombi's head. She narrowed her eyes in turn, staring at his zipper. Cain growled softly, moving protectively in front of Glitch. "This won't be hard," Mombi said enigmatically. "All right, Princess, time to undo the spell. Is this how they were originally?"

"No," said DG. "Cain was human and Glitch was a cat."

"Switch them back," ordered Mombi.

DG closed her eyes and concentrated. Moments later, Cain was standing beside a scruffy Himalayan cat. 

"Now, listen carefully," said Mombi, turning her eyes toward Cain. "Whenever the two of you switch, there's a moment when you're both human. I'm going to have DG switch you again, and I need you to act very quickly during that moment. In case Glitch can't understand me in his present condition, you'll need to do whatever it takes to get him to cooperate."

"All right," said Cain. "What do I need to do?"

"Kiss him."

Cain looked as if he were going to jump and run. "You want me to _kiss_ Glitch?"

"Right on the lips. And you have to keep kissing him until the spell dissipates. You should both be able to tell." She tilted her head slightly toward DG. "Switch them again now, before he has a chance to change his mind."

DG obeyed. The moment Glitch reappeared in human form, Cain grabbed him by the shoulders and planted a kiss right on his lips. Glitch made a startled noise as if he were trying to squawk, but Cain didn't let go. 

Mombi and DG watched in fascination as rays of emerald-green light began to emanate slowly from Cain and Glitch, outlining their bodies. 

Glitch appeared to relax and moved closer to Cain, who shifted so that he had his arms around Glitch. Glitch reached up with a hand behind Cain's neck and wrapped the other arm around him.

The green light reached an apex of brightness and then faded away as the spell dissipated; both men ignored it and continued kissing.

Mombi cleared her throat delicately. "Ahem."

"Guys," said DG, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice, "you can stop now." She turned to Mombi. "You don't look surprised."

Mombi raised her eyebrows briefly in a gesture DG had learned to interpret as a shrug. DG laughed, and to her surprise, Mombi joined in. Cain and Glitch, who had finally separated, looked sheepish. 

Glitch recovered first. "Thank you, Princess Mombi," he said. "I appreciate your help in breaking the spell."

"You're welcome, young man," she said.

"I don't see why we should be thanking her," grumbled Cain. "She's the one who cursed us in the first place."

"You're welcome, too," said Mombi. He glared at her. "Don't tell me you didn't get something out of it, in the end," she added. Glitch reached out and took Cain's hand, and Cain's expression softened.

******

A week later, DG and Patmol were wrapping up a lesson when he said, "Do you want to see Princess Mombi's new home?"

"Love to, Toto," said DG, then grinned sheepishly. "Professor, I mean."

He frowned, but she could tell he really wasn't angry. "Get your coat, we're going out to Central City."

The driver dropped them off at a major shopping plaza in the city. DG looked around, curious. "Where is she?" In response, Patmol led the way down a side street into an arcade filled with nickelodeon mini-movies and pachinko machines. In the center was a gleaming new machine in the form of a wooden cabinet with a glass top, containing Mombi's head on a red velvet cushion. The sign on the front read in florid script, "Your Fortune Told by Madame Mombi, Witch-Princess of Historic Oz." There was a long line of people waiting to use it. 

"A fortune-telling machine?" asked DG. "Like Airofday's?" 

"Well, that's where I first got the idea. There's nothing like it in Central City, and I thought it looked like something people would enjoy. But Mombi has put her own spin on it." DG was about to ask what it was when Patmol held a finger to his lips. "Listen," he whispered.

A tired-looking woman had just put in a coin. Gears whirred and clicked, and Mombi's voice, sounding tinny and electronic, said, "What do you wish to ask?"

The woman glared at the line pressing behind her and they backed off a little. Her voice shaky but determined, she asked, "Will I ever find love?"

"A downtrodden, homely, middle-aged spinster like you?" Mombi said derisively. The people in line snickered. "Hey! I'm not talking to you people! Listen up, lady. Believe it or not, my powers tell me that somewhere out there is an even bigger loser than you, just waiting to sweep you off those flat feet. Now get out there and find him!"

"Thank you," said the woman, and walked away. Despite the tone in which Mombi had delivered her news, it was clear that the woman was encouraged; she had squared her slumped shoulders and her eyes were looking ahead instead of down.

"Next!" shouted Mombi. The next person in line stepped forward eagerly.

DG looked at her tutor. "Hey. Mombi looks like she's enjoying herself."

"Enormously," said Patmol. 

"Where does the money go?"

"Part goes for rental fees to the arcade owner. The rest is for her to spend as she pleases." He shrugged. "Maybe she'll save up for a new body."

"She actually seems to be doing some good," DG observed.

Patmol smiled. "Yep. Weren't you the one who said it was all about second chances?" he said. "Look, there's a cotton candy stand. I'll treat."


End file.
